July 28, 2011
MY OPEN ROAD
i took this photo last night... it has inspired me a bit...makes me think of the future & the possibilities ahead, as life has had it's ups & downs over the past year & has been a bit stressful in so many ways...try to keep up w/ this jumbled, unorganized post. don't get me wrong, i love my life & Im truly happy but sometimes there are things that can bring a person down, or things that can make a person start to crack. Ive heard that there are people out there that think my life is picture perfect. totally not true. i have issues just as much as anyone else out there. sometimes i just don't display those issues on my face, within my smile, through words online or verbally if Im not asked about them 1 on 1. i try not to get involved in drama or share my drama as much as possible. i try to stay positive about life & try not to stress out too much. Sometimes when bigger things happen to you the small things aren't as big as they seem. Unfortunately my feelings hurt easily. i try not to take things personally, even though sometimes, some things certainly feel as if they were meant for me to take them that way. sometimes i feel as if i can't win w/ certain people, i have to remind myself that it's them, not me. can't help but feel as if Im constantly walking on egg shells. the little things tend to be big things in my life. and the big things tend to be even bigger. on top of it all, i easily feel left out. i started my blog a few years ago to in hopes to keep my friends & family up to date on how my new life up North was treating me. i also started it so i could jot down my thoughts & feelings as I please. I slacked on that part a bit, as Ive recently been posting notes about fashion, celebrities, music & DIY projects. Figured i should get back to me for a few mins. Here's a quote from the infamous Carrie Bradshaw that caught my attention last night while watching TV in bed...kinda ties in w/ just part of this entry..."the truth is, at any given moment someone somewhere could be making a face about you. But it's the reviews you give yourself that matter." .....I truly cherish those friends & family members who have been there for me face to face or a phone call away. Those people have gotten me through this year so far & have reassured me that I am a good person & deserve to be treated like one...they have also reassured me that things will look up in the future & everything happens for reason...I'm not a religious person but God does have a plan for everyone. Even if you don't know what that plan is at this moment in time. I have to continue to reassure myself that I am only handed what I can handle. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way though. After reading this, some of you out there may think that Im only looking for sympathy. I am NOT that kind of person. Typing all of this out is almost a sense of therapy. It feels good to get all of this out, even If Im not going into detail. I know what Im talking about & a few others close to me will know as well. Oh to the struggles of growing up, as well as moving away...Ive def been beaten up a bit, that's for sure. No doubt there's someone out there that's going through what I'm going through. I'm probably not alone. Yah, & maybe some if "it's just a girl thing". I've learned some lessons & I've also learned both positive & negative news. Keeping my head up, my mind in the right place & my heart open will hopefully guide me along the way...
here's to the possibilities in my future...
(even) stronger relationships (husband & family)
less stress @ my real job
more photography side jobs
less "to do list" stress
and...hopefully...babies.....*our* biggest struggle.