
Attention attention! Calling all Ryan Atwood fans! ;) According to People today Mr. Benjamin McKenzie of the infamous "The OC" will be staring in an upcoming new show!
Check this out...Emily sent the above link to me from her home town Giles County....It's about how much Mountain Lake from "Dirty Dancing" has changed over the years.....Holy before & after shots....NUTZ! Sooo sad.....
Even though we walked off the dock last night w/ a great memory, 2 “Dexter” bobble heads & 2 Showtime tote bags…I had a bit of sadness inside of me…Don’t get me wrong, as I’ve said in my blog & as I’ve told people face to face, over the phone or through an email, I love it up here….BUT I am still homesick at times & still feel out of place…Last night these feelings crept up on me at the Showtime cruise. I really did have a great time but it just reminded me of how long it takes for me to feel comfortable around people I don’t know or haven’t known that long. It reminded me of how much I wish I could act myself w/ the snap of my finger, but just cant. If only I had the nerve to dance on the dance floor with everyone else but instead I stayed back w/ Steve & just watched everyone get their groove on. I wish I didn’t care about what I looked or sounded like when it comes to my stiff moves & not so great singing voice. I’d do anything to give two shits & just let it all out like I have no care in the world. Of course if I had a few more beers in me the two of us would have been shakin' our stuff along w/ the other COX employees but I didn’t want to get drunk at my 1st work party….plus the boat was a lil too wobbly to consume any more alcohol…HA. I wanted to remain in a good state & just take it all in…. It has still been a bit hard meeting new people inside of work and outside of work. Inside the employees that surround me are on their headsets all day, so if I get any chance to chat with them at all it’s for a quick second before our conversation gets interrupted by their next incoming call. I pretty much sit at my desk all day & do my work….the only time I take a break is to run to the bathroom or go to lunch w/ my buddies Lisa, Stacy, Stephanie & Cat. If only I was more out going & could strike up a conversation with anyone at anytime. As much as I don’t think everyone needs to know everything about me right off the bat I wish they knew just a lil bit about my personality & my VA background…I know it will still take time though, I keep reminding myself that I’ve only been here for a few months….After thinking about it I realized that it pretty much took me about a year or so to get comfortable with Steve’s CT friends….its always hard to come into a close knit group who all grew up in the same area. Luckily they accepted me with open arms & made it very easy for me to feel like one of the gang. I feel pretty darn comfortable doing anything & saying anything around them now which is a huge plus in my book….even acting like a fool on a Friday or Saturday night comes easily….Its safe to say that I can call them “my friends” too now…and that makes me smile.….Unfortunately for the most part here in RI I feel that when I am around people there is a line that divides “me” from “them”…I have never felt so much like an outsider in my life…I am still very much out of my element as I sometimes say….When you have lived in the same place all your life it is hard to call another place home. (Babe, no worries…home is still where the heart is…)…It’s just that things are sooo different up here, not in a bad way, just in a different way…if that makes any sense. There are a lot of things I still have to get used to. From the little things to the big things….Even though I’m a pretty patient person, I’m feeling very impatient about getting past this particular point….I know I will eventually make more buddies & act like myself more (without thinking twice) around the ones I already have…Soon enough I will be able to truly open up & show everyone the real me. In the mean time I will continue to put up a front & be strong….& of course hold in the tears that seem to sneak up on me every now and then…..
"Sometimes stepping into the unknown can make us grow as people, and show us things we never thought we were capable of. Sometimes it's healthy to experience a change of scenery and inject ourselves into a new life..."
~Natalie Brown~